When I was a predictably obnoxious teenager approximating growing up in Massapequa, I liked to get into all the shit punk kids would normally do. I lived to blast rock music to piss off my parents. I cursed like a drunken sailor in the hopes that it would offend one of my ancestors. I watched... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS(1972) Great Title, Awful 1970’s Fashion
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a wonderful title for a horror movie. However, I don't know of any scientific axiom that proves a great title always results in a good film. If your probation for drunk and disorderly has got you teaching Film Study 101 to a bunch of burnouts at the local community... Continue Reading →
Film Review: COMBAT SHOCK-DIRECTOR’S CUT(1985) American Nightmares on Staten Island
Would you trust the artistic merits of a film written and directed by a dude named Buddy Giovinazzo, or Buddy G as he appears in the credits of Combat Shock? When my credit wasn't worth a shit, I think Buddy G was the guy that gave me a personal loan in the damp alleyway behind... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part 3)
Part 1 is here Part 2 is here "NO LAW SHALL EXIST TO DENY OR LIMIT THE RIGHT OF A PERSON TO DRINK ALCOHOL DURING THE DAYLIGHT HOURS." Tarmac's addition to the Bill of Rights I dig day drinking. I believe it is our God given right to be able to drink a frosty... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part2)
The first part of this bucket of chopped up bait fish is here Alcohol has given me a few nights when my memory is about as clear as a windshield covered with the splattered remains of a plague of locust. That damned, delicious Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey will make you forget what planet you are... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part 1)
Some of this appeared while I was writing at The Supernaughts. I never finished this magnum opus(drunk, no doubt) and since I am doing my own thing, I thought I would finish it here. I realize JAWS is really a Fourth of July thing, but I have something planned for that. Luckily, Memorial Day is... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CONTAMINATION(1980) Green Eggs and Exploding Ham
Luigi Cozzi's Contamination is a piss poor Italian rip-off of Alien. It is the cinematic equivalent of eating bad scungilli and throwing up in an alleyway at the San Gennero fest in Little Italy. I emptied the contents of my stomach like that once , but a spoiled seafood dish was not the culprit. That honor went... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CLEAN, SHAVEN(1993) It’s not a porn, you pervs!!
If you are a male and born before 1980, you have probably lamented at least once how easy it is for kids today to get their hands on pornography. Technology is a wonderful thing and has made the masturbatory arts accessible for everyone, not just those with a cool uncle or undersexed, alcoholic fathers who... Continue Reading →
THE ANGRY WORLD: Divided, We Stand Still. As in, not moving, like a LIRR Train. (part 2)
You can find the first part of this uninspired rant here. I believe every person on this planet has the right to speak their mind. They should be able to do so without fear of being beaten up, jailed, or disemboweled on some dusty street. However, words do have consequences. I have no problem with... Continue Reading →
