Coming at you like a boat propeller churning through scared fish, Demons is a hardcore, heavy metal discotheque bloodbath. Like many Italian horror flicks, what it lacks in story and logic, it more than makes up for with gut splattered style and some exciting visuals. Add in a pounding, electronic score by Goblin's Claudio Simonetti... Continue Reading →
Film Review: COMBAT SHOCK-DIRECTOR’S CUT(1985) American Nightmares on Staten Island
Would you trust the artistic merits of a film written and directed by a dude named Buddy Giovinazzo, or Buddy G as he appears in the credits of Combat Shock? When my credit wasn't worth a shit, I think Buddy G was the guy that gave me a personal loan in the damp alleyway behind... Continue Reading →
Film Review: I DON’T FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE(2017) Long title, short movie
When I was a young man, I loved long movies. Like doing tequila shots with the prettiest girl in town, I relished the three hour run times of Heat, GoodFellas and the Godfather flicks. Well, the first two Godfather movies. Don't worry, Sofia Coppola became a fine director and she was put in a tough... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS(1972) Great Title, Awful 1970’s Fashion
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a wonderful title for a horror movie. However, I don't know of any scientific axiom that proves a great title always results in a good film. If your probation for drunk and disorderly has got you teaching Film Study 101 to a bunch of burnouts at the local community... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CONTAMINATION(1980) Green Eggs and Exploding Ham
Luigi Cozzi's Contamination is a piss poor Italian rip-off of Alien. It is the cinematic equivalent of eating bad scungilli and throwing up in an alleyway at the San Gennero fest in Little Italy. I emptied the contents of my stomach like that once , but a spoiled seafood dish was not the culprit. That honor went... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: SALEM’S LOT(1979) You’ll Enjoy Mr. Barlow. And He’ll Enjoy You.
I hate Christmas. It is for children and those annoying people that are in love. With its endless onslaught of slick commercials decorated with perfect human specimens receiving cars that are worth more than the average American family hauls in, Christmas reminds us what we don't have. Look how well that supermodel fills out that... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: HOFFA(1992) Dig Him Up for Another Look
I love Danny DeVito's Hoffa. Whatever liberties the filmmakers might have taken with the man's life will not cause an engine to seize or bust a couple of axles on an interstate haul, so we won't worry over such details in this essay. Your opinions of modern day labor unions shouldn't determine the artistic merits of this... Continue Reading →
Film Review: LAKE MUNGO(2008) A Creepy Study on the Archaeology of Loss and Guilt
Death is a sure shot sniper. Since the beginning of time, it has been ending people with extreme prejudice. The Grim Reaper doesn't care what color your skin is, or what god you pray to at night before you go to sleep. When death has you in the crosshairs, you are better off just coming... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: THE BAD NEWS BEARS(1976) Throwing Spitballs at the Cancer of Political Correctness
Pardon me while I flex my right wing, but I believe the United States is the greatest country in the history of the world. I am probably a loud, obnoxious(drunk?) American, but nothing will change that belief in me. Perhaps you shouldn't read any further if you think you know how this is going to... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: DAWN OF THE DEAD(1978) A World Flushed Down the Toilet
When I was a predictably obnoxious teenager approximating growing up in Massapequa, I liked to get into all the shit punk kids would normally do. I lived to blast rock music to piss off my parents. I cursed like a drunken sailor in the hopes that it would offend one of my ancestors. I watched... Continue Reading →
ANGER AT THE END OF THE WORLD 