Watching some scenes in James Wan's Dead Silence, I felt like a tarantula was slowly crawling down the front of my trousers. Like getting molested by some sinister circus freak, cold shivers twisted my body like my privates were hooked up to a live car battery. Dead Silence showcases Wan and writer Leigh Whannell's fondness for dastardly dolls and... Continue Reading →
Film Review: LAWS OF GRAVITY(1992) Before the Moustache Wax and Wool Caps
Laws of Gravity, the low-budget 1992 film written and directed by Nick Gomez, takes place in a decaying, pre-hipster Brooklyn. These streets are harsh. There are greater dangers lurking here than a ripped Patagonia vest, or brash Trump supporter wandering into a coffee house sporting a MAGA cap. The view of Manhattan is expensive, but... Continue Reading →
Film Review:SUN DON’T SHINE(2012) It’s Never Just Groceries in the Trunk
Sun Don't Shine, the feature film directorial debut by hardworking and talented independent film actress Amy Seimetz, is a hazy neo-noir that takes us through the backwaters and chintzy tourist towns of Florida. It tells the grimy story of two lovers, Crystal and Leo. They argue and discuss the architecture of their relationship as they crisscross... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings:DEMONS(1985) And You Thought Chatty Old Ladies at the Cineplex Were a Problem
Coming at you like a boat propeller churning through scared fish, Demons is a hardcore, heavy metal discotheque bloodbath. Like many Italian horror flicks, what it lacks in story and logic, it more than makes up for with gut splattered style and some exciting visuals. Add in a pounding, electronic score by Goblin's Claudio Simonetti... Continue Reading →
Film Review: COMBAT SHOCK-DIRECTOR’S CUT(1985) American Nightmares on Staten Island
Would you trust the artistic merits of a film written and directed by a dude named Buddy Giovinazzo, or Buddy G as he appears in the credits of Combat Shock? When my credit wasn't worth a shit, I think Buddy G was the guy that gave me a personal loan in the damp alleyway behind... Continue Reading →
Film Review: I DON’T FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE(2017) Long title, short movie
When I was a young man, I loved long movies. Like doing tequila shots with the prettiest girl in town, I relished the three hour run times of Heat, GoodFellas and the Godfather flicks. Well, the first two Godfather movies. Don't worry, Sofia Coppola became a fine director and she was put in a tough... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS(1972) Great Title, Awful 1970’s Fashion
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a wonderful title for a horror movie. However, I don't know of any scientific axiom that proves a great title always results in a good film. If your probation for drunk and disorderly has got you teaching Film Study 101 to a bunch of burnouts at the local community... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CONTAMINATION(1980) Green Eggs and Exploding Ham
Luigi Cozzi's Contamination is a piss poor Italian rip-off of Alien. It is the cinematic equivalent of eating bad scungilli and throwing up in an alleyway at the San Gennero fest in Little Italy. I emptied the contents of my stomach like that once , but a spoiled seafood dish was not the culprit. That honor went... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: SALEM’S LOT(1979) You’ll Enjoy Mr. Barlow. And He’ll Enjoy You.
I hate Christmas. It is for children and those annoying people that are in love. With its endless onslaught of slick commercials decorated with perfect human specimens receiving cars that are worth more than the average American family hauls in, Christmas reminds us what we don't have. Look how well that supermodel fills out that... Continue Reading →
