Pardon me while I flex my right wing, but I believe the United States is the greatest country in the history of the world. I am probably a loud, obnoxious(drunk?) American, but nothing will change that belief in me. Perhaps you shouldn't read any further if you think you know how this is going to... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: DAWN OF THE DEAD(1978) A World Flushed Down the Toilet
When I was a predictably obnoxious teenager approximating growing up in Massapequa, I liked to get into all the shit punk kids would normally do. I lived to blast rock music to piss off my parents. I cursed like a drunken sailor in the hopes that it would offend one of my ancestors. I watched... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS(1972) Great Title, Awful 1970’s Fashion
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a wonderful title for a horror movie. However, I don't know of any scientific axiom that proves a great title always results in a good film. If your probation for drunk and disorderly has got you teaching Film Study 101 to a bunch of burnouts at the local community... Continue Reading →
Film Review: COMBAT SHOCK-DIRECTOR’S CUT(1985) American Nightmares on Staten Island
Would you trust the artistic merits of a film written and directed by a dude named Buddy Giovinazzo, or Buddy G as he appears in the credits of Combat Shock? When my credit wasn't worth a shit, I think Buddy G was the guy that gave me a personal loan in the damp alleyway behind... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part 3)
Part 1 is here Part 2 is here "NO LAW SHALL EXIST TO DENY OR LIMIT THE RIGHT OF A PERSON TO DRINK ALCOHOL DURING THE DAYLIGHT HOURS." Tarmac's addition to the Bill of Rights I dig day drinking. I believe it is our God given right to be able to drink a frosty... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part2)
The first part of this bucket of chopped up bait fish is here Alcohol has given me a few nights when my memory is about as clear as a windshield covered with the splattered remains of a plague of locust. That damned, delicious Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey will make you forget what planet you are... Continue Reading →
Film Ramblings: JAWS(1975) The Greatest Drinking Blockbuster of All Time (Part 1)
Some of this appeared while I was writing at The Supernaughts. I never finished this magnum opus(drunk, no doubt) and since I am doing my own thing, I thought I would finish it here. I realize JAWS is really a Fourth of July thing, but I have something planned for that. Luckily, Memorial Day is... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CONTAMINATION(1980) Green Eggs and Exploding Ham
Luigi Cozzi's Contamination is a piss poor Italian rip-off of Alien. It is the cinematic equivalent of eating bad scungilli and throwing up in an alleyway at the San Gennero fest in Little Italy. I emptied the contents of my stomach like that once , but a spoiled seafood dish was not the culprit. That honor went... Continue Reading →
Film Review: CLEAN, SHAVEN(1993) It’s not a porn, you pervs!!
If you are a male and born before 1980, you have probably lamented at least once how easy it is for kids today to get their hands on pornography. Technology is a wonderful thing and has made the masturbatory arts accessible for everyone, not just those with a cool uncle or undersexed, alcoholic fathers who... Continue Reading →
